Speak Up

Too many of us are too shy or too scared to speak our mind, and then we sit around complaining about how we never get what we want. If you want something you have to ask for it! Go get it! Take action!

I think a common human epidemic is the miscommunication between people; not being able to express what they want but hoping or assuming that someone else will just magically know. How can they know if you never told them? I can relate to the emotion of wanting someone to do or say something, and then being disappointed when they don't. Or in some cases, even being angry when they don't. But at the end of the day you have to remind yourself that what you think is the best thing to do isn't always what other people think is the best thing to do. We are all viewing life through the tinted lenses of our own experience.

In the context of relationships, if someone genuinely wants to make you happy, then they would actually prefer it if you would just say to them directly what it is you want. Women are notorious for expecting men to be mind readers.  But in all fairness, if you want him to buy you flowers more often - tell him. If you want him to pay more attention to you - tell him! At least give him a fighting chance to give you what you want. Similarly, if you think you deserve a raise at work - no one is going to offer it to you. Speak up!

I think we get caught up in what we believe to be "common sense", but what is really a certain set of rules or traditions based on what your parents taught you, and what experiences you have lived through. Everyone's "common sense" is different. It's up to you to express yours.

One Love & Music,

Gift Giving

I've always had a passion for gift-giving. I love the challenge of finding gifts that people love; something that surprises them and makes them smile. But as the cliche goes, in August I went to Africa and my perspective changed. A $50 goat can change the life of an entire family. But in North America we spend $50 on chocolates! My brain just can't comprehend it.

Don't get me wrong - I still enjoy shopping and enjoying material things. But if I'm going to give someone a gift, I would like for it to serve a bigger purpose somehow.

I found Christmas shopping this year particularly challenging, and found myself wandering through the mall not knowing what to do with myself.

I think next year, everyone is getting a goat.

;)

I hope the hoildays fill you with Love & Laughter!!

One Love & Music,

What is Selfish?

From childhood we are taught about this deluded concept of "selfishness". Mom says, "share - don't be selfish", or "think about others first, don't be selfish". Is that really what encompasses selfishness -simply putting yourself before others? At least, that's what I was taught in my house.

It has taken me 28 years to learn the real meaning of selfishness. To be selfish, I believe, is to impose your own beliefs and/or opinions onto another. To encourage someone else to do or act in a manner that you prefer, rather than their own. What selfishness is not, is putting yourself first. Doing what's best for you. Following your own dreams, even if they are misalighned with those of your friends and family. It's pure logic, really. If you neglect your own basic desires, wants, hopes, or dreams, how are you expected to be happy? To be content enough that you would still have the energy or desire to put others first? Sounds backwards to me.

The truth I believe in is so simple - if you really do what makes YOU happy, without considering what others will think or feel about it (because really, who cares other than them), you will be brimming with so much love and happiness that you won't be able to help but spread it onto others. You'll be so content with life itself that the compulsion to be kind to and help others will come naturally to you. 

The misconception is that if you put yourself first, you will cease to help other people, when in fact, putting yourself first will literally enable you to help others better. Who better to help than someone who has acheived true happiness?

Do what makes you happy NOW, and you will be a better person, I promise. Now! Go! It can't wait a moment longer!

One Love & Music,